02 Sep “Dread Talk” A Portrait Of Mike Twice
Good Day to all in the living land of TWICE….bka MIKETWICE.COM. There is so much going on in the world as you already know but today I want to focus on something more closer to home…myself. It can be hard to profile yourself because of ego temptation but today I will wear my heart where it started: my sleeve. At this point in my life I have had plenty of time to learn my strengths and weaknesses. Some were harder for me to except than others, but the first step of fixing a problem is finding a problem. I have had close friends (the few elected to see my inner naked soul) whom I allow criticism or just simply life suggestions from. Unfortunately most people who come in contact with me will never truly know me due to a HUGE protective wall around me. It all started in Decatur GA. Growing up with a single mom and a big sister was different for me. When most young men got into an altercation with an older person they always made threats of “Ima go get my brother”. I never had that luxury, as a matter of fact I used to resent it. None the less my mother never allowed me to walk in my house with a defeat. I was constantly told to ” go get that bike or don’t come home”…so I did. By the time I was in the second grade, I had become known to have violent temper tantrums that would leave other kids in a not so fortunate situation. I can still hear my mother tell me that I don’t get angry, I GO mad. Growing up without my father living in the same city as me only made matters worse in some cases. Due to this, there are certain emotions that I was never made to “deal” with. I grew up either letting something slide completely or the complete opposite. Now that I am fully grown I can still clearly see this in my everyday life. There are situations that I deal with in a passive way that could have been avoided with a stern voice. My problem was that I never learned a stern voice with out a stern fist flying behind it. This can cause problems for me and the people around me. I also fear what my actions will become if I let my anger fly because I am no longer in grade school and my decisions weigh a lot more than being suspended from school. I’ve always felt as if I can be kind to you in all ways then you will be the same to me but this is not true as often as I would like. I’ve even gone as far as taking myself to anger management to try and put a lid on my problem. In some ways it helped me but in others it made my anger worse due to me not fully dealing with my anger openly. Its like a soda bottle that has been shaken up; if you don’t twist the cap off soon, you will be in for an explosion!!!. This presents a turning point in my life. I obviously have things and situations in my life that I want to protect such as my freedom which would allow me to raise a family and generally flourish as a man. Anything that could threaten my freedom is a direct threat to me and should be dealt with accordingly. I am done with the days of being nice so someone else does not get their feeling hurt because I get hurt worse in the end. Fellow happy go lucky Sag and emcee Jay Z said in a song…. “I once was cool as The Fonz was, until this game turned me into a monster”. I can slowly feel this transformation inside of me as I type. The key is to literally tackle your fear head on until it does not exist any longer. For a long time I’ve felt like it was my duty to be kind to others at all cost, but everyone doesn’t deserve it one bit. Some people are so careless that they will single handedly destroy you if you let them. You have to be able to decipher the actions of others to see if they are conducive to your own life goals. If some does something to threaten your well being then they are threatening your children’s well being and should be dealt with accordingly. I’m not saying go smash these people in the head with a blunt object but you must clearly articulate this point before you lose something you value. I think it takes a strong person to admit their flaws that stigmatize their ego, but an even stronger person to act on it. Actions will always speak louder than any word spoken through vibrations of the tongue. Instead of not speaking up for fear of going too far, I must learn to moderate what I feel and control those dark aspects of my personality in order to master myself. Maybe you see a bit of yourself in me or vice versa. Either way we must learn moderation in order to survive this savage world with out fully being a savage. I won’t rant and rave about this too long but I will say that…..any threat to your well being should be treated like a bogey on your radar….either the bogey goes or you do whether this bogey is a friend acquaintance, or close family member. Remember you sit in the captain’s chair and you are the C E O of your life so there is a WHOLE “company” who depend on your choices. All I ask is that you make the right ones as I will do the same. They say that I have to be told everything TWICE….well not anymore. This has been a look into a piece of my soul. Hopefully you have gained something from this as well as realized some things. I am Mike Twice reporting another everyday development of genius from the living land of TWICE aka MIKETWICE.COM enjoy your day but be vigilant.
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